


La notre commencera ce soir / “但我们的故事将从今晚开始”

by Wynefire



Category: The Age of Madness - Joe Abercrombie, The First Law - Joe Abercrombie
Genre: Explicit Language, Ficlet Collection, M/M, Mr. & Mrs Smith AU, Post-TWOC, Romeo & Juliet AU, The Bone Thief!Orso/Revenger!Jappo
Language: 中文-普通话 國語
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:22:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 5,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27025777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wynefire/pseuds/Wynefire
Summary: Dedicated to Romeo and Juliet of the Circle of the World (...)An Orso/Jappo ficlet collection. Mostly Chinese, with occasional translation(s) into English.Lots of crackships happening here, so see the notes at the beginning of each chapter for more warnings.——献给环世界的罗密欧与朱丽叶【毫无品质的双王口嗨合集，中文偶有英译。虽然双王是主线但cp很混邪，具体警告见每章开头。
Relationships: Orso I/Jappo Murcatto
Comments: 10
Kudos: 5





	1. 罗密欧与朱丽叶AU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 我不敢相信我真的写了【瞳孔地震

王太子奥索 + 第四次斯提亚战争if，停战会谈，在奥索到达西潘尼后他戴面具溜出去微服私访闲逛，遇到了同样戴面具、自称宫廷音乐家的亚柏，两人一拍即合一夜风流，日出前亚柏与奥索约定有朝一日带他去看西潘尼公馆的珍藏名画。  
但白日里，脱下面具（戴上面具）的他们唇枪舌剑寸土不让，在父母、在真正敌人深重世仇的注视下也不得不寸土不让。  
会谈以双方都心知肚明没人会信的和约落下帷幕。在塔林方举办的假面舞会上，戴面具的亚柏再次遇到了奥索——他没带面具，看起来失魂落魄，对斯提亚的传统全不在意。亚柏再次以宫廷音乐家的身份向奥索国王致意行礼，奥索便要求他带领自己去参观西潘尼公馆的馆藏。亚柏无法确定这只是凑巧，还是奥索真的看穿了那个宫廷音乐家是谁。二人心怀鬼胎，但谈话一如既往地默契非常，正在奥索邀请亚柏摘下面具之时，随行的里欧因为一场与亚柏有关的争论，深柜恐同当场发作，与亚柏的挚友小卡萨米尔大吵一架，拔剑决斗，并重伤对方。蒙扎与绅卡特现身，并用言语点出了亚柏的身份，亚柏这才意识到一切都是母亲的安排，他不得不演出安排好的戏码——摘下面具、宣布不再欢迎奥索及其随从、撕毁和约、择日开战。对他而言，摘下面具时才又是一场假面戏剧，幸运的是，不幸的是，那份命运被操纵的“愤怒”却不用刻意去演。  
联合王国的船队驶离斯提亚后，半年内，战火就烧至卡萝公主所在的西潘尼。王太子奥索御驾亲征，而派克瞒着奥索去下毒刺杀亚柏（对应ALH的瓦贝克事件）。维塔瑞及时识别出毒药，本想将此当做两国情报部门的又一次过招，但亚柏提议将计就计——他假装死去，打算诱使联合王国趁乱进攻之际，从后包抄轻敌的敌军。斯提亚的哀悼气氛甚至弥漫至中立的西潘尼，被内疚和厌战情绪噬咬的奥索又一次带上假面，踏上熟悉的街道。他听到不少夜曲悲叹塔林之主的陨落，但在卡多蒂欢乐馆中，传来一曲尤为哀伤尤为熟悉的曲调……  
（此处为大家最喜爱的罗朱经典阳台戏）  
日出前，亚柏告诉奥索西潘尼公馆已经被斯提亚军洗劫一空，但“亚柏国王把名画都运到塔林珍藏了”。宫廷音乐家先生“不想失约”，但遗憾的是，要想守约，要么联合王国攻占塔林，要么联合王国投降，终结战争，经年后也许伤痕愈合，他能前往塔林，那时宫廷音乐家再盛情招待。“……但若有第三条路呢？”奥索摘下面具，看了亚柏一会儿，伸出一只手摘下亚柏的面具。亚柏没有阻止也没有反抗，只是静静地回望对方。奥索微微一笑，把两副面具扔入火炉，没有再说话。天明之时他们在卡多蒂的欢乐馆内静默分别。


	2. Romeo & Juliet AU (Translated)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Very loosely based on Romeo & Juliet by Willian Shakespeare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not a fic, just an outline that I don't plan to finish
> 
> Warning: very broken English and even more broken logic, read at your own risks

AU, starting from a parley during the Fourth Styrian War. When Crown Prince Orso arrived in Sipani at night, wandering around masked, he met another masked "court musician" (i.e. Jappo). They enjoyed the rare, peaceful Sipani night together, perhaps a little bit unlike themselves and a little bit too much. Before the daybreak, Jappo promised Orso that he would one day take Orso to the art collection at Talin's embassy in Sipani.

But daytime came, as daytime always did, and daytime was when they had to take off their masks (or rather, to wear their masks). Under the cold stare of their feuded families and even darker vendetta between the players behind their families, they faithfully played their roles in the play. 

Talins held a semi-official masquerade at their embassy after the conference ended with a truce that neither of the parties believed. There a masked Jappo met an Orso without a mask, the latter looking torn between looking for something and just wanting to drink himself to blissful oblivion. Jappo greeted him again as "the court musician", and was surprised that Orso carelessly asked him to lead the way to the Talins embassy's famed art collection. Was it a coincidence or did he see through the mask? Walking towards the collection, the duo fenced with words but neither dared to speak their true thoughts aloud. 

Just when Orso came up with a truth-or-dare styled joke that almost managed to have Japoo take off his mask, they heard a quarrel intensifying into a fight: unable to rein his fury over "degenerate Styiran jokes, the biggest of which is their own king", this fucking closeted dumbass Leo dan Brock challenged a duel upon Casamir Shenkt the Junior, Jappo's best friend, and seriously wounded the latter. When Jappo and Orso arrived at the scene, Monza showed up with her all-too-familiar deadly stare and revealed Jappo's identity. Jappo realized this might had been a play but he had to play along, so he took off the mask and announced, as a king, that Styrian would never welcome Orso and his entourages. Another play, though fortunately (or unfortunately) for Jappo he needed not to fake his fury when saying his actor's lines.

The fleet of the Union left Styria, and brought war back just half a year later. Crown Prince Orso led the army, yet unknown to him, Pike and the Inquisition was pulling an assassination on Jappo (um my logic bad? bad? idk how the wars are fought okay?). Vitari noticed the poison in time so Jappo survived, but Jappo decided to beat the Union in their own game by faking death and waiting to attack the Union army when they thought the Styrians were in mourning chaos. And the Styrians did mourn for their monarch, even those people in the neutral ground Sipani. Jappo was apparently beloved if slightly deviant. Orso, masked, weary of war and consumed by unreasonable guilt, again roved about the lamenting streets of Sipani. He heard so many songs about the fallen young king. One song however, from the balcony of Cardotti’s House of Leisure, was perhaps too familiar...

(And here comes finally everyone's favorite balcony scene which vaguely parallels with that one from Romeo and Juliet ...)

Before the daybreak the "court musician" told Orso the art collection of Talins embassy had been taken away by "the late King Jappo's army" and transported to his palace in Talins; although the "court musician" hated to break his promise, he found himself forced to renege; he could not see when the peace would come eventually, as either the Union conquering Styria or the reverse seemed so far away. Maybe many years later, after all the hatred had been forgotten, "my honored guest from the Union" could come to Talins free of worries, and then "this humble court musician" could eventually carry out his promise. 

"What if there's a third way? A third ending?"

Orso took off his mask, looked at Jappo for a while, and then reached out to take off Jappo's mask, too. Jappo did not resist or stop him, just quietly watched Orso as if meeting him for the first time. Orso smiled and tossed both of their masks onto the fire. When the daybreak came, they parted at the doorway of Cardotti’s House of Leisure and headed towards the directions from which they had originally come.


	3. “美少年之死”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 有甘马科/本纳及慕卡多骨科暗示

他与佩太阳面具的男人在母亲最心爱的那尊云石雕像下接吻。佩太阳面具的男人闲闲地笑说，这雕像可真像你，先生。可是闻名遐迩的塔林的阿斯忒匹亚斯，那无意间以美貌掀起一场战争的少年？  
他也笑，一边领男人走上行宫的台阶。真不知您是夸我还是骂我，先生！但或许您歪打正着。据信，这雕像原型乃是我被冷血谋杀的叔叔。那凶手本为被联合王国驱逐的将军，名驰天下的剑士，他怜惜自己俊美的受害者，便从蓬皮亚大师那里重金订来这尊雕像。攻进塔林时母亲本有意焚毁他所有珍藏，但这雕像的面容让她住了手，这宫内所有佳作便得以留存。稀奇吧，嗯？  
一段佳话！佩太阳面具的男人赞叹。殊不知这被塑造为一代祸水的阿斯忒匹亚斯亦能定纷止争。   
阿斯忒匹亚斯能化干戈为玉帛，是因为阿斯忒匹亚斯业已死去——只可惜呀，我还活着。请落座，奥索国王。他伸出一只友好的手朝上座挥了挥。


	4. 大革命后日谈，或“那些小册子里，尊敬的奥索国王见洞就操”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 使本合集变成explicit的罪魁祸首  
> 很雷很雷  
> 有Jappo/Jurand描写

奥索死后他开始收集大革命前的那些小册子。宫廷秘史，外省罗曼，道德教育，艳情版画。那些小册子里，尊敬的奥索国王见洞就操：洗衣房里十三岁的早熟美人，下身因梅毒腐烂的西潘尼娼妓，前审问长无牙的瘪嘴，象征联合王国军事实力的战马屁股，不一而足。亚柏一边看，一边乐：嘿，你漏画了他腹股沟左边的那颗痣。嗯这位的双下巴抓得倒是挺传神。什么玩意，这种纯良爱情喜剧也好意思下厂印刷，真卖得出去？奥索是看不上——呃奥索还真有可能看上偶遇的安格兰平民姑娘，只要她舌头够毒！哦，不对，奥索是不会愿意正面进入他的情人的，至少第一次上床时不会。他骨子里太自卑了，不会敢用老二在贯穿心上人时，直视对方的眼睛的。

稀奇的是，奥索本是半个斯提亚人，联合王国人却从没画过亚柏和奥索的题材，既没有他们月下幽会畅谈理想谋划私奔到远乡，也没有他们脑满肠肥围坐桌旁寻思分食工人尸体。甚至没有他们大展雄风地强暴彼此！联合王国的那些温水袋简直毫无想象力！唯有一本阿杜瓦法学院学生的大作，在大肆批判旧制度时，不知怎地灵感突发，痛斥君主制之恶在于将一国之命运交托王后的子宫：“若奥索一世与亚柏·慕卡多其中一者生而为女，第一次斯提亚战争结束后，二国便可如三百年前水晶宫战争结束时那样，以联姻化解世仇。如此，八万人流血可避，六千万税负可免！”亚柏想了想，把它放在了珍藏的最下面。珍藏：亚柏把它们安放在塔林行宫内、他的私人博物馆里，这些印刷机的量产叙事，人民的狂欢，在暧昧的灯光下，与爱佛尼亚、菩兰蒂、威斯尼亚、斯提亚诸邦历史上所有文艺大师的杰作相映成趣。

他后来读得不满意也不耐烦，活像一夜纵欲过多从此阳痿，便想着亲自订购一张画，代替那张已被他看腻的《命运天使》。斯提亚以艺术兴邦，但王家沙龙里都是些学院派古董，可怜的老安托万只画（暴露度大增的）摹本，他唯一欣赏的毕特罗纳在大革命时不幸正在斯塔兰采风，遂因那漂亮的奥斯匹亚小胡子而一命呜呼。他想来想去，最终决定遵从本心，从私藏里翻出那本《七美德的堕落：六位女子与一位男子对少年国王的真实证词》。边角有点脏，没办法，他曾在一个不太慎重的夜里，在与母亲大吵一架后，对着这本书里某张插图的自渎三次，直到精液与眼泪都干涸，而他本人像条被阿杜瓦渔夫捞起出售的海鱼般大口喘气。这些日子想起来竟还算是幸福的回忆，于是他又花了几个月联系上那位插图画家瑞纳特·柯克兰。原来这男性笔名背后本是一女子，卡米尔·葛鲁姆的笔有其他量产版画里少而又少的柔情。亚柏想，我要找一个联合王国的画家，联合王国的画家恨他们的国王，所以他们能画好我想要的这幅画。

再后来约兰德卸任人民议会主席，他应是很累了，因为小卡萨米尔传来线报说他长途旅行的第一站竟是斯提亚，竟是西潘尼。传说中严肃到能用皱眉夹死一只苍蝇的约兰德？在西潘尼？亚柏于是送来私人请柬，邀他在卡多蒂的欢乐馆内、他的专属房间内相见。

约兰德竟比他早到了，带着只漂亮的夜莺面具，打量着他房内墙上那张油画。“《狂飙时代，或正义时代》（The Age of Madness, or the Age of Justice）。”听见身后门响，他转过身，几步上前与亚柏握手。“葛鲁姆女士的成名作。这摹本真还原，陛下。”

“是真迹，主席先生。”

就算约兰德带着面具亚柏也看得出他的惊愕：如每一个听见亚柏解释的贵客、大使、情人一样，他们不明白为什么亚柏要把一副享誉环世界的名画挂在自己上床的地方，让断头台上面容平静、略带哀伤的奥索，在数不清的烟气蒸腾的斯提亚之夜里，注视着斯提亚之王达到他臭名昭著的、目眩神迷的高潮。一定是亚柏·蒙·洛根特·慕卡多太恨奥索一世了，他们最后会想；两国世仇，三次斯提亚战争，而如今诸邦又宣扬联合王国的君主立宪才是文明象征、并以此挑战斯提亚之王的权威：这奥索一世，死了比活着时更难缠！每一次射精都是斯提亚冲联合王国吐的唾沫！于是他们说服了自己，之后便能坐下来面不改色地与亚柏交谈或做爱，有时兼而有之。

再后来与约兰德成为偶尔上床的挚友后他想，在多年前那个宿命的热夜里，夏日接近尾声，约兰德在卡多蒂欢乐馆的外场，带着漂亮的夜莺面具打一手稀烂的牌，而他的情人与他的情人轮流进入亚柏的房间如同求和，如同求偶。若约兰德那日就能走进他的房间，第一个走进他的房间，是否八万人流血可避，六千万税负可免，奥索便不必走上那众望所归的断头台？亚柏仰头，视线与他交汇一瞬。你看，我做到了，做爱，搞搞艺术，偶尔有音乐。和平的滋味。然后他在奥索平静略带哀伤的注视下再度低头，并全心全意地亲吻约兰德微张的嘴唇。


	5. 慕卡多夫夫 / Mr. & Mr. Murcatto

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 我最爱的Mr. & Mrs. Smith AU  
> 有一点点explicit

“作为‘瓦贝克的屠夫’，你坦白得还真快啊。”对方搁下红酒杯。绵柔的探戈曲调自外场飘进来，如七年前一模一样。

  


这称呼扎得他生疼。但奥索只是笑着摇摇头，继续说：“奇妙的是，坦白对我从没坏处。当年，就在这，要不是我借着臭名昭著的西潘尼白兰地，告白求婚登记上床所有流程一夜走完，我丈夫今夜指不定会在谁的床上呢。哈，说不定是里欧·唐·布洛克的。”他做了个苦相，身体前倾，越过餐桌，像要分享一个情人间的秘密。“所以我今日也对您坦诚相待，慕卡多先生：我有充分的理由相信，我的丈夫想要杀我。”

  


“喔？想杀您？可您是如此潇洒、体贴、幽默、 ** _致命_** ……路瑟-格洛塔事务所风头无双的‘猎头顾问’，不是吗，慕卡多先生——路瑟先生！”对方也配合地探身向前，眼睛夸张地睁大。“您忘了他的生日？打碎了他心爱的花瓶？背着他与旧情人幽会？还是说……他气您竟会觉得他肯上那头白痴狮子的床？”

  


与七年前一模一样，但奏乐的提琴手已不再是亚柏·慕卡多了。如今亚柏·慕卡多就在他面前，睫毛轻颤，嘴角带笑，呼吸轻柔地抚在奥索唇间。他近在咫尺，奥索伸手就能抱住他，但奥索发现自己却仍在想念他。他半行通用语半行斯提亚方言的情诗，他抽烟时沙哑如谜的嗓音，小腹上卷曲的黑色毛发，卧室里的雏鹰标本。想念他沾满油彩的双手，那时他坐在后花园里，泥土清香，他说他要画一张奥索身着末代联合王国国王袍服的油画，无他，只因为他坚信奥索穿白色丝质紧身袜的样子一定火辣万分。奥索从善如流，让丈夫如愿以偿，接着顺水推舟地在还没抹松节油的画布上大开大合地操他，让颜料和精液一同坠在夏日雨后的青草上。那个生动的亚柏·慕卡多，是凡人又绝非凡人，属于温柔乡西潘尼属于环世界的风眼，但绝不属于上膛的柯尔特XSE、不属于斯提亚军情局塔林分支、不属于奥索竭力向他隐瞒的这一切。奥索伸手就能抱住他，但奥索饱经训练的双眼亦能看出他的外套内侧他的西服裤腿甚至他的定制手表都是枪，枪，枪。

  


“所以我说，我今天得坦白……”奥索定定地与这陌生的爱人四目相对。“毕竟，他如今要杀我的唯一原因，就是我从一开始，就对他撒了谎。”

  


亚柏·慕卡多沉默了三秒。

  


“和我跳支舞吧，路瑟先生？”他最后开口说。


	6. 偷骨贼与复仇天使

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 对，说白了就是冷宴AU，但是设定在TWOC后，西港-坎忒standalone结尾时分，母亲在眼前死去，而亚柏从阳台上坠落，身受重伤，奄奄一息。

他再醒来时是在一间摆满骨头的昏暗房间，浑身被绑带固定，像行刑前的死囚，像行刑后的尸体。  
绅卡特？他问，一瞬间恍然还以为又回到儿时，母亲和她的参谋们总会给他这种训练：让他身陷险境，必须自力逃脱。  
一张苍白面孔从黑暗中浮现。奥——亚柏出声，接着又噎住：但奥索早就死了，死在他亲手参与编织的、绅卡特的复仇中。  
联合王国合法的王，合法的复仇……  
来人也猜到他心思，一根手指竖到微笑的唇边：我是卡萨米尔·唐·绅卡特的学徒。你好啊，亚柏·慕卡多。  
奥索曾问他，如果我们所做的一切都只是在重蹈覆辙，历史又该如何前进？所以还是有一些事情不同：亚柏拒绝鸦片，不肯照镜子，看到自己残破的双手后首先要的不是长剑而是竖琴。再也无法弯曲的四指拨动琴弦，破碎的曲调横亘在沉默的两人之间。亚柏首先笑了：你知道吗，这是我第一次，可以想干什么，就干什么？做爱？……搞搞音乐？  
当年在这间房里醒来时，我也这么想。绅卡特的学徒安静地回他。  
他们对视一秒，彼此十分清楚他们可以就此讲和，接吻，手牵手离开。离开这旧时代的棺椁，生而为王的诅咒，律法的天罗地网，美丽的大机器。  
绅卡特的学徒叹了口气，走到门边：照顾好自己，好吗，慕卡多？我把你救回来，可不是为了让你再去送死的。  
亚柏望着自己握不成拳的双手，轻声说，我绝不下跪。  
绅卡特的学徒耸耸肩：烟管在走廊尽头房间梳妆台第三个抽屉里。  
他再回来时亚柏·慕卡多已经离开。


	7. The Bone Thief and the Revenger (Translated)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set against the background of a hypothetical Westport-Kanta standalone post TWOC.

A pale face emerged from the darkness. "Or—" Jappo gasped, then choked: but Orso was already dead, dead in a revenge Jappo had helped with his own hands. 

The lawful king of the Union's lawful revenge. 

The visitor, guessing his thoughts, put a finger to his smiling lips. “I am Casamir dan Shenkt's apprentice. Hello, Jappo Murcatto.”

What’s the point in having new generations if all we do is pick up the feuds of the old one? Orso had asked him. So some things were indeed different from the meeting between the first bone thief and the first Nemesis: Jappo refused the smoke and refused the mirror, and the first thing he demanded to try with his crushed hands was not a sword but a harp. No longer able to curve his four fingers to pluck the strings, he silently let the broken tune linger between them like the memory of a distant Sipani night. Jappo managed a little chuckle: "do you know this is the first time I can do whatever I want? Fuck? ... Make music?"

"That was what I had thought when I woke up in this very room." Shenkt's apprentice quietly replied.

They looked at each other for a second, knowing perfectly well that they could make their peace, kiss, and leave hand in hand right here, right now. Away from this coffin of the old, this curse of kingship, this circle of the Laws. From this beautiful machine.

Shenkt's apprentice sighed and went to the door: "take care of yourself, will you, Murcatto? I didn't bring you back just so you could get killed again."

"... I do not kneel," Jappo said quietly, looking at his unclenched, unclenchable hands.

Shenkt's apprentice shrugged: "the pipe was in the third drawer of the dresser in the room at the end of the corridor."

And Jappo Murcatto was already gone when he came back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still think the only way Orso can escape being Guillotined in TWOC is to “become Shenkt”.


	8. ——而后 【第七的喜剧】亦将不断重演

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 莫名其妙第二三部曲ver冷宴（斯提亚-西港-坎忒standalone）的莫名其妙人设  
> 和偷骨贼与复仇天使（The Bone Thief and the Revenger）虽然都是冷宴AU，但不是同个剧情线【。

亚柏·慕卡多  
——斯提亚之王。  
——美名远扬或臭名昭著的音乐家、美食家、情人、剑客。  
——为走出母亲的阴影，谋划着统一斯提亚大业。

卡萝，西潘尼执政夫人  
——甜美可人的联合王国公主（或共和国通缉犯），嫁给西潘尼执政官索托利俄斯。  
——试图阻止西潘尼高层打破中立传统、以她名义主张联合王国继承权的企图。

约兰德·温嘉特  
——前安格兰军副帅，饱读兵书，因未知原因被逐出军队。  
——现效力于亚柏·慕卡多为测试火枪威力而新建的近卫军“游隼队”。

黛也卜·默祖力欧  
——雅诗他法、司客尔、奥斯匹亚、旧帝国混血的布料商人。  
——维塔莉安·特尔斐在西港公民议会中的眼线。  
——正在重仓购入斯提亚各大报业公司的股份。

穆思兰  
——邬-撒法因难民，西港工程师，拜在远乡来客、“龙之音”洛·松斯门下学习锻造之艺。  
——同名兄长死于三年前的阿杜瓦火车爆炸事故。

“莱希”艾莱士·柏兹华斯  
——白天是塔林艺术学院学生，夜里偷开马甲激情闯作廉价色情反动连环画。  
——梦想斯提亚亦如联合共和国成立民主政体，其画作却机缘巧合得到亚柏·慕卡多赏识。  
——（草。）

小蒂  
——亚柏·慕卡多的贴身女仆与皮条客。  
——现侍奉“白痴”杰赛尔（亚柏·慕卡多被囚禁在冯特萨莫宫的哑巴宠物，据称是从卡多蒂欢乐馆买来的男妓）。  
——最不重要的POV，抑或最重要的POV。  
——全名蒂凡尼·唐·绅卡特。

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 我不搞OC的，这里唯一的纯OC就是咳咳莱希先生，而莱希先生实为Morveer那样的人间喜剧搞笑角色 :>（……）  
> 正剧提纲……什么的……有一点点……我先把饼……画在这里……


End file.
